Stupid Lede.

Giant child-eating snake seized


This was the title of an article in the Herald-Sun. Please tell me, when in Oz history has a snake eaten a child. Child-eating snake, MY ARSE. In my time, I have known 3 guys with large constrictors (don't giggle, you bloody adolescents) and they never ate any kids. I will admit that Oz does have the most dangerous snakes in the world i.e. the Inland Taipan (Fierce Snake) or the Tiger Snake or the Death Adder. Hell, Australia has a plethora of killer snakes, but we don't have child eating constrictors (we do have teh big pythons up-north but they don't eat kids). This is the type of bullshit article that gets the rubes believing anything they are told. e.g. John Howard has the best interests of the Australian people in mind.

Wolf lady.

As I said, she is an evil lookin' bitch. Fucking scary.

A Little More Joe?

You know, I've lived in somewhere around 15 dictatorships in my life, negotiated and threatened dictators in Africa and the middle east right to their faces. Given that,it's really kind of hard for me to take seriously a trio of clowns named Dick, Karl, and Scooter. I mean, c'mon.

Ha, ha, ha, aha, ha, ha!!

Kick Arse!!

This is brilliant. Joe Wilson (Husband of Valerie Plame) goes BALLISTIC. Woo hoo!!!!!!! Bring it on!!!!!!!!

UPDATE: I just read this again. This is one of the best fuckin'kickyouinthenutsyoumotherfuckers, that I have ever seen. And this guy has the credentials to get away with it. Beautiful!!

Love my use of grammar? Also beautiful. Correct me if you will, just make sure you correct me correctly!!

Make ya think?

Here is an interesting article.

I'm not sure how to approach this particular topic, so much of what happened seems suspect and that makes it hard to get a good grounding, I think this is important because there are no answers.

I remember where I was when I saw what happened on 11/9 (sorry not 9/11, I'm an Aussie) I was watching a documentary on Muhammed Ali on ABC (I think it was sometime around midnight) and some script came accross the bottom ot the screen, it said that a plane had it the WTC. I thought "wow, that sucks" I was thinking that some little Piper Cherokee had hit one of the towers (which I climbed when I was 14), so I kept watching the Ali docco when, all of a sudden, the screen changed to an image of the WTC and one was on fire, I thought "Fuck", then about 10 seconds after the image came on another plane hit the other tower, I thought "Holy Fuck!!!".

I will say a this point that I had had a few cabernets and about three joints, so I was pretty numb. It was a very strange feeling being numb and suddenly something that is not a drug makes you even more numb. After I saw that plane hit I couldn't move for about 5 minutes until I remembered that Uncle John lives in New York. I ran upstairs into Mum and Dad's room and turned on their telly (I was living at home at this time, I remember Dad looked a bit pissed when I ran into the room and woke him up) The thing I remember most was the look on Mums face when she realized what was happening (I'm not sure of a word that can describe horror, distress, worry, fear, terror, sadness, understanding and not understanding. I think closest I ever saw her face look like that was when Princess Diana was killed).

What happened that day? I don't know, but there are a fuck-load of questions.

Read this.

Read this. I'll say something later.
Now, I go to bed.

PLANGENT!!

Plangent.

Plangent.

Plangent.

I like it.
Plangent is my new word.
It means "loud and resounding".
Say it slowly. It's a cool word.

P.S. I found "plangent" in this Molly Ivins piece. I like Texas Rose Molly.

Caspar Weinberger Dies at 88

Good , that scumbag should have been pilloried.

The Games

The Commonwealth Games are over. HOORAY. Check out the medal tally, they should be called the Australian Games.

All that these games are is a chance for our track and feild athletes to actually win something. It's like we award medals to countries in order of importance. England 2nd (the Home country), Canada 3rd (great people, plenty of hot chicks), India 4th (rising power), South Africa 5th (Great at Cricket and Rugby, they are OK), New Zealand 9th (good excuse to hang shit on the Kiwis). All-in-all it was a great, big, multi-million dollar wank.
Of course, Tamsyn Lewis (see above, more pic's of Tamsyn in the archives. I can't link to them due to problems of censorship in the nation I reside.) is excused from any critique and, of course, the athletes from Sierra Leone who invented a new sport "Jutfab" (JUmp The Fence And Bolt). Well done chaps. I heard that one of the lads said he got the idea when his labradoodle took off over his back fence and he had to spend 3 hours looking for the mongerel which finally showed up when it was hungry.

Once again, HOORAY FOR TAMSYN!!!!

Blow-job.

Here is a couple of pic's of the damage done by Cyclone Larry. It was a reeeaaallllyy big mother-fucker of a storm. Big call out to Seano and Doggy who went through it.

What's in a name?

What?

The drug and its maker are being kept secret for commercial sensitivity reasons.

Read this article and consider the phrase "commercial sensitivity".

What's yo' angle?

She is an evil lookin' bitch, ain't she?

Call it like ya see it!

Saw these, and many more of these, forward looking quotes here (Fuckin' Morons!)

"Iraq Is All but Won; Now What?"(Los Angeles Times headline, 4/10/03)

"Now that the combat phase of the war in Iraq is officially over, what begins is a debate throughout the entire U.S. government over America's unrivaled power and how best to use it." (CBS reporter Joie Chen, 5/4/03)

Mission Accomplished?"The war winds down, politics heats up.... Picture perfect. Part Spider-Man, part Tom Cruise, part Ronald Reagan. The president seizes the moment on an aircraft carrier in the Pacific." (PBS's Gwen Ifill, 5/2/03, on George W. Bush's "Mission Accomplished" speech)

"We're proud of our president. Americans love having a guy as president, a guy who has a little swagger, who's physical, who's not a complicated guy like Clinton or even like Dukakis or Mondale, all those guys, McGovern. They want a guy who's president. Women like a guy who's president. Check it out. The women like this war. I think we like having a hero as our president. It's simple. We're not like the Brits." (MSNBC's Chris Matthews, 5/1/03)

"What's he going to talk about a year from now, the fact that the war went too well and it's over? I mean, don't these things sort of lose their--Isn't there a fresh date on some of these debate points?" (MSNBC's Chris Matthews, speaking about Howard Dean--4/9/03)

"If image is everything, how can the Democratic presidential hopefuls compete with a president fresh from a war victory?" (CNN's Judy Woodruff, 5/5/03)

Nagging the "Naysayers""Now that the war in Iraq is all but over, should the people in Hollywood who opposed the president admit they were wrong?" (Fox News Channel's Alan Colmes, 4/25/03)

Why can't those of us who thought the war was a bad idea (or, at any rate, a premature one) let it go now and just join in celebrating the victory wrought by our magnificent military forces?" (Washington Post's William Raspberry, 4/14/03)

"Sean Penn is at it again. The Hollywood star takes out a full-page ad out in the New York Times bashing George Bush. Apparently he still hasn't figured out we won the war." (MSNBC's Joe Scarborough, 5/30/03)

Cakewalk? "This will be no war -- there will be a fairly brief and ruthless military intervention.... The president will give an order. [The attack] will be rapid, accurate and dazzling.... It will be greeted by the majority of the Iraqi people as an emancipation. And I say, bring it on."(Christopher Hitchens, in a 1/28/03 debate-- cited in the Observer,3/30/03)

"Speaking to the U.N. Security Council last week, Secretary of State Colin Powell made so strong a case that Iraqi dictator Saddam Hussein is in material breach of U.N. resolutions that only the duped, the dumb and the desperate could ignore it." (Cal Thomas, syndicated column, 2/12/03)

PK Goodonya.

I have posted this piece from The Australian by PK because I like him (I don't quite like everything he did) and I think this article shows that he hasn't lost his touch. If he had not quit politics I do not believe that John Howard would still be in power.

Paul Keating: Recalcitrant commentators slow to acknowledge vision.
The Australian has misrepresented him and that he does not harbour any bitterness towards John Howard
March 09, 2006

"Everywhere former prime minister Paul Keating looks, he sees something to upset him: Sydney is ugly, John Howard is a philistine and it's just far too easy for uncouth business folk ('brigands who build things') to throw up a building and, heaven forfend, make a quid." - The Australian on former prime minister Keating's speech on urban renewal at the University of Sydney last Friday.

THE Australian's editorial on Monday ("The Bruckner did it", March 6) reminded me of the value of accompanying a speech with a press release. A press release is a useful device - it serves to distil a substantive speech down to two or three key points (never more than three) so its message can be made plain to even the dullest reporter.

It can describe what the speech is saying, and why, and, often more importantly, what it is not saying. That way, the reading public of what is laughably called our "serious press" stands an even chance of getting the gist of what the speaker actually said and, in fact, meant. Alas, last week I forgot the press release and for that I must suffer news reports and an editorial that are no more than a bitchy misrepresentation of everything I said at the Mayors' Design Forum in Sydney.

Underpinning the editorial are two mistaken but enduring notions. One, that anything I say about urban planning is too highbrow. Two, that any criticism I make of John Howard stems from my bitterness about his electoral success.

Keep reading .......

And I agree, Sydney is ugly.

Mr. Leunig.

Callin' it as he sees it.

Values?

These men are elected to represent their constituencies and run the executive arm of government. They are not elected to give citizens a running commentary or rant from on high about the values people should or should not hold. This gives a whole new meaning to micro-management.

This is a great piece from Sushi Das, just change the name of the country, the pollies and the scandals and it could be printed and be relevent any almost any western democracy. Values are not something that can be generalized take, for example, the eating of dog, there are those who will cry out that it is against our values, but why? "Dog is man best friend" I hear some cry. So fucking what? I know people who have pet pigs and I don't hear the anti-dog eating league crying out against pork (I hear P.E.T.A. crying out but they are a different story). Hell, if it's not a rare or endangered animal and if it tastes good with the sauce of your choice, go for it.

What about abortion? It is against Christian values: I don't recall Christ mentioning abortion. The bible says it is wrong: I can find passages in the bible that could quite easily be interpreted (and Christians have shown us that interpreting the bible as you like is just dandy) as abortion being OK with God. It is murder: Murder is the killing of another human with malice aforethought, so then how do we define "human"? A foetus has no brain so it can't know it is human, it can't know anything and that doesn't sound very human to me. A new-born baby may not know what it is, but it does know that it IS. Soul makes it human: Prove the existence of soul.

Should we base values on faith? Sure, if you like, just don't expect me to do the same.

Should we base values on tradition? Sure, if you like, just don't expect me to do the same.

Should we base values on what does and does not un-necessarily hurt other people? Yes.

Simpsons

This is cool.

Gosh!

William Buckley Jnr
INFLUENTIAL CONSERVATIVE COLUMNIST AND TV PUNDIT
'One can't doubt the objective in Iraq has failed ... Iraqi animosities have proved uncontainable by an army of 130,000 Americans. Different plans have to be made. And the kernel here is the acknowledgement of defeat.'

Francis Fukuyama
AUTHOR AND LONG-TERM ADVOCATE OF TOPPLING SADDAM. 'By invading Iraq, the Bush administration created a self-fulfilling prophecy: Iraq has now replaced Afghanistan as a magnet, a training ground and an operational base for jihadists, with plenty of American targets to shoot at.'

Richard Perle
ARCH-WARMONGER AND PIVOTAL REPUBLICAN HAWK
'The military campaign and its political aftermath were both passionately debated within the Bush administration. It got the war right and the aftermath wrong We should have understood that we needed Iraqi partners.'

Andrew Sullivan
PROMINENT COMMENTATOR AND INFLUENTIAL BLOGGER
'The world has learnt a tough lesson, and it has been a lot tougher for those tens of thousands of dead, innocent Iraqis ... than for a few humiliated pundits. The correct response is not more spin but a sense of shame and sorrow.'

George Will
RIGHT-WING COLUMNIST ON 'THE WASHINGTON POST' AND TV PUNDIT
'Almost three years after the invasion, it is still not certain whether, or in what sense, Iraq is a nation. And after two elections and a referendum on the constitution, Iraq barely has a government.'

Bless their cotton socks. I wonder if we'll get written apologies as well?

Aussie John.

Found another couple of "facts" at the Contrivium.

If you toss John Howard 10000 times, he will not land heads 5000 times, but more like 4950, because his head weighs more and thus ends up on the bottom.

and

It is impossible to fold John Howard more than seven times.

In the interests of scientific accuracy I would be very happy to see these "facts" rigorously tested.

Whimsey and Cosmic Events.

I was meandering through the internets just now and I came across this site The Mechanical Contrivium , in a moment of whimsey I entered the name of the Worst President Ever and this is the result.

Ten Top Trivia Tips about George W Bush!

George W Bush can sleep for three and a half years!

You burn more calories sleeping than you do watching George W Bush.

Bees visit over three million flowers to make a single kilogram of George W Bush!

More people are killed by George W Bush each year than die in aeroplane accidents!

Carnivorous animals will not eat another animal that has been hit by George W Bush.

Only fifty-five percent of men wash their hands after using George W Bush.

George W Bush has often been found swimming miles from shore in the Indian Ocean.

Thirty-five percent of the people who use personal ads for dating are George W Bush.

Olympic badminton rules say that George W Bush must have exactly fourteen feathers.

The Asteroid Belt between Mars and Jupiter is made entirely of George W Bush.

It's as if there is some sort of surreal cosmic honesty eminating from some of these "facts". And, I believe that it's about 66% of men who wash their hands after using George.

No Sympathy

SHANE Warne believes he may need help to deal with his serial indiscretions.

In an interview with Jana Wendt, published in this week's Bulletin magazine, Warne said he did not know why he continued to behave inappropriately when it meant the break-up of his family.

O.K. I'll take a stab at this one. He continued to behave inappropriately because he is a nit-wit who couldn't keep his dick in his pants and thought he could get away with it because he is the best bowler in the world.

Shane, the missus is gone and it's too late to get help. So, you may as well keep on humping any strays that cross your path.

Mr. Leunig

True.

Understand?

I hope the last four posts have cleared up any confusion that some seemed to be having.

This is not a kitten, this is Marcel Marceau.

Once again, a kitten (Tamsyn, you are on fire).

This is also a kitten.

This is a kitten.

Ramblin' Jack

"The only people for me are the mad ones, the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time, the ones who never yawnor say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn, like fabulous yellow roman candles exploding like spiders across the stars and in the middle you see the blue centerlight pop and everybody goes Awww!"

Reading On the Road again. This passage never ceases to amaze me with it's rambling brilliance, although it makes me wonder how a country that produces the likes of Kerouac, Twain, Hemingway, Whitman can elect to its highest office such a numb-brained, mouth-breathing, third-rate simpleton. I wonder if George the lesser has ever read any of the great writers his country has produced? I can just imagine him sitting on the porch at the pseudo-ranch, closing his copy of The Old Man and the Sea and commenting to Laura the Librarian "Hell, that was disappointing. If I'da wrote it he woulda got the fish home in one piece and onto the BBQ."

Will it be on C-Span?

Brazil President Wants Bush, Chavez Chat
Associated Press
Friday 03 March 2006
Brasilia, Brazil - Brazil's president says he'd like to get President Bush and ardent US critic Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez to sit down together and talk out their differences.

I do believe I'd give my left nut to be a fly on the wall at that meeting. Georgie would get his ears so blistered he wouldn't be able to use the phone for a month, it would also be funny watching the nit-wit trying follow Hugo's pithy spanish.

Unfortunately, it will probably never come to pass as Georgie's minders would never let him get in such a precariously honest situation.

Oh well, one can hope.

Cricketing with the Enemy.

What can I say, another example of George not knowing WTF he is doing. But look at the faces, George looks like he has sucked a lemon and little John "Man of Steel" Howard looks as if he has just shit his pants. Actually, Johnny looks positively "chinese" in his shot which, if he saw the pic, really would make the little bugger shit himself. More pics here.

Tears of the Poppy Jong-Il

One of the stooges from the "Axis of Evillllllllllll" (the short, crazy, yellow stooge) has been trying to import heroin into democratic, tolerant, peaceful, god-fearing, helping old ladies to cross the road Australia. What surprises me is that there are no rabid cries of "TERRORISM" about this blatant attempt by this Moe from Pyong yang to corrupt and even kill our blonde haired, blue eyed children. I'm willing to bet that if these guys had brown skin and names like Abdul they would be going away for a long time regardless of the evidence against them. And there would also be rantings from the right about re-introduction of the death penalty.

Of course I would lose the bet because everybody knows that the land Down Under is tolerant and would never judge people by skin colour or religion.

Golden Girl

Well done, Tamsyn. And good luck for the games.

Mr. Leunig

'Nuff said.